Sacred Men's Circle

The Sacred Men's Circle is a bi-weekly gathering of men aimed at helping us all connect, open up, and share some of the difficulties of being a man. Below are the Men's Circle agreements, please read these before attending your first call.

Men's Circle Ethos

To facilitate the mental/emotional/spiritual growth of men's circle members and create a container in which deep, profound healing, connection and growth can occur.

Sacred Men's Circle Agreements

Commitment to Container Integrity

Conversations held within the Sacred Men's Circle are confidential and not to be repeated outside of the container. Only with the express and explicit permission of all parties involved should things discussed be shared. This creates a safe arena in which we can explore the deepest parts of our experiences as individuals without fearing public judgement.

Commitment to Showing Up

Please recognize that being fully present for as many of the Zoom calls as possible creates depth in the bonds between us and breeds vulnerability. A lack of showing up to calls can create negative emotions or feelings that someone is only showing up when they need something, and not showing up equally for their fellow community members

Commitment to Mutual Growth

This is a container for our mutual mental/spiritual/emotional/physical growth. As such, the impetus is on each of us the show up as best we can not only for ourselves, but also for the others in the group. This materializes as being fully present, doing the inner work in between calls, being loving but firm with fellow members, and committing ourselves to honest vulnerable communication.

Container Guidelines

Presence & Timeliness

To maintain the relative flow of these conversations the Zoom calls will be locked after the first 15 minutes from the planned start time. It’s expected that members will try to commit at least 1 full hour where they are able to be fully present for these conversations.

Meeting Structure

Each meeting will be scheduled for roughly 2 hours in length. The first 30 mins - 1 hour of the call will be “check-ins” during which we will go around to each member and give them a chance to express how they are doing in the moment and share any difficulties they are encountering. The second half of the call we will circle back to a few of the men who are currently struggling the most and dive deeper on what is going on for them.

Types of Shares & Feedback Guidelines

The goal of this container is to provide a safe arena for expression of vulnerability, and an opportunity to feel seen/felt/heard. During the second half of the call, when a participant is sharing more deeply, they should specifically designate which of the types of feedback (listed below) they would like to receive. 

1) Open Space - The sharer speaks until they feel complete in their expression without any feedback or exchange from other members. The goal of this style of speaking is simply to be seen/heard without judgement. When the speaker is done talking they will say “I’m complete” to indicate that they have finished.

2) Reflections - The sharer receives reflections from the other men such as “when you said _____ , I felt _____” or “when you said ____ , I noticed ____”.

3) Questions - The sharer speaks their piece and then opens the floor to questions to help him dive deeper into his felt experience. This is not an opportunity to hijack the focus or to give advice, but rather an opportunity to shine light on the speaker and help them to illuminate any blindspots.

4) Advice - Ideally the least used style of communication, advice should be given only when asked for. Advice is best delivered in the format of personal, relatable experience “When I experienced that same thing, here is what got me through the negative feelings…” rather than impersonal prescriptive advice such as “check out this podcast” or “you should do XYZ”. There will still be moments where prescriptive advice makes sense, but I invite us all as men to do our best to not default to advice

5) Requests - An ask of the group. For example "What I could use would be someone checking in on me about my objective over the next week."